Last weekend I saw the documentary "
The Business of Being Born," an informative, inspiring and upsetting film. It describes how medical intervention during labor partially explains the increasing rate of c-sections and how hospitals (and insurance companies) encourage the use of induction and pain relief medication in order to get women in and out of the hospital as fast as possible. The film also included shocking statistics about the current maternity care system including that the United States infant mortality rate is the
second highest among industrialized countries. This is one of these films that everyone needs to see.
Naturally this film reminded me of Miles' birth. I give my pregnancy experience a 10, on a 1-10 scale (10 being the highest). Everything checked out perfect at the dortor's office. You were developing and growing like you should, you were in perfect position at 40 weeks, and you arrived on your due date. I read the books, did my research, and decided that I would be open to pain relief during labor. I didn't write a birth plan. I am a big picture person, not that concerned about the details. My plan was to get you out. I had no clue what to expect so how could I decide that I didn't want an epidural? I tend to be a trustworthy person. I tend to believe that everything will be fine. Maybe that's why I skipped the chapter about c-sections in the book. I never, never expected to have a c-section.
My water broke arund 5 am on April 14, 2007. I didn't experience any contractions at this point. I called the doctor who recommended that I go ahead and come to the hospital since I was already 50% effaced and 4 cm dilated. Another part that I seemed to have missed in the books is that once the water breaks, it doesn't stop! Thankfully it was still dark outside when I walked to the car with a couple of towels wrapped around me like a huge diaper. We were quickly taken care of at the hospital. I was all hooked up to the monitors by 6:30am. The monitor showed that I had contractions, but I couldn't feel them at that point (maybe the 50 pounds I gained protected me!?). After about 45 minutes the contractions very closer together and I was starting to feel them. At that point, I also started to loose blood via large blood clots. The doctor and nurse gave each other a concerned look. A couple of minutes later, another blood clot and more concerned looks. After four blood clots, the doctor explained that if we continue to let labor progress naturally, the chance that I will continue to loose blood is too high and that she would be concerned that we might have to do an emergency c-section with a blood transfusion. Therefore, she recommended that we do a regular, non-emergency c-section. I started crying. What? How did this happen? Everything was perfect until now, why is this happening? This was not part of my plan. I quickly understood though that it was too risky to continue labor and to continue loosing blood. I was given the epidural and rolled into surgery. My arms were pinned down, big blue curtain was drawn in front of my eyes, and the nurse was putting several IV's into my wrist. 15 minutes later I heard you cry. Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall. I heard you but couldn't see you. Finally, what seemed like an enternity, Frank brought you over to my side. My arms were still pinned down to the table and I couldn't reach for you. Frank held your face next to mine, cheek to cheek. This is when the doctor put my guts back where it belonged and glued me back together all while chatting about shoes and shopping. Hell, they just made $16,000 in 20 minutes. They can't spend their money faster than they make it.
It seemed like an eternity before I got to hold you. Breastfeeding was luckily not difficult for us and we bonded immediatly. I healed up normally and didnt have complications from the surgery. It took a while to be able to move around again, but it wasn't bad.
In my case, a c-section was the best thing for my situation and I am glad that I was in the hands of doctors and in a hospital. It wasn't the way I imagined, but it was the way it was meant to be. Not only were you born with a large head (!) but they also noticed that one of my ovaries was double in size during the surgery. Two months after you were born we took an ultrasound and a cat scan to find out that I had a huge cyst in my right ovary. Thankfully it was benign, but we had to get it out quickly before it got bigger and ruptured, which would have been very painful. A couple of weeks later, I was back in the hospital under the knive. Due to the large size of the cyst, they reopened my previous c-section to get it out.
So little Miles, you knew that it was best to be born this way to prevent for this cyst to rupture which could have had all kinds of consequences. I thank you for that.
Next time around, I will try to have a natural birth. They call it a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I will prepare a birth plan and insist on my right to experience birth the way it was meant to be. I will also know that whatever happens happens, and that this next little person will have their own birth plan.
